Notes On… Comparison in Healing

Comparison can feel like curiosity, but underneath, it often carries shame.

In the age of highlight reels and self-help influencers, healing looks like a race.
A race toward stillness. Toward embodiment. Toward finally being okay.

And when your journey doesn't match someone else's timeline, tone, or aesthetic,
you start to wonder:
Am I doing this wrong?

Clients say:
I tried meditation, but I just felt more anxious.
Everyone swears by somatic work, but I don’t feel anything.
I’ve been in therapy longer than my friends and still feel stuck.

We forget that healing is not a uniform.
It’s a tailored garment.
What soothes them might overstimulate you.
What works for your friend might overwhelm your nervous system.
What felt like freedom for someone else might feel like pressure in your body.

Healing is not a subscription box.
It’s a dressing room.
Try things on.
Feel how they sit in your bones.
Check for tightness around the chest, or stiffness in the soul.
You don’t have to buy everything you see others wearing.

And just because something doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean you’re resistant, broken, or behind.
It means you’re discerning.
It means you’re learning to listen inward instead of performing outward.

Comparison says: They’ve figured it out. I should be there by now.
Healing says: This pace is mine.
This path is sacred even when it’s not photogenic.

We are not meant to heal the same way.
We are meant to heal honestly.

So take the time to try things on.
And trust yourself enough to leave what doesn’t fit on the rack.