Notes On… Comparison in Healing

Comparison can look like curiosity, but underneath, it often holds shame. In a world of highlight reels and self-help influencers, healing starts to feel like a race. A race toward stillness. Toward embodiment. Toward finally feeling okay. And when your path doesn’t look like someone else’s, when your tone, your timing, your pace don’t match, you might catch yourself asking, am I doing this wrong?

Clients tell me things like, I tried meditating, but I just got more anxious. Everyone says somatic work is the key, but I don’t feel anything. I’ve been in therapy longer than my friends and still feel stuck. And behind all of that is often quiet self-blame. But healing isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s not a uniform. It’s a tailored garment. What soothes someone else might overstimulate you. What worked wonders for your friend might not land in your body the same way. Something that brought freedom to another person might feel like pressure in your nervous system.

Healing is not a subscription box.
It’s a dressing room.
Try things on.
Feel how they sit in your bones. Check for tightness around the chest, or stiffness in the soul. You don’t have to buy everything you see others wearing.

And if something doesn’t work for you, that doesn’t mean you’re broken or resistant. It means you’re paying attention. It means you’re learning to listen inward instead of reaching for someone else’s script.

Comparison says: They’ve figured it out. I should be there by now.
Healing says: This pace is mine.
This path is sacred even when it’s not photogenic.

We are not meant to heal the same way.
We are meant to heal honestly.

So take the time to try things on.
And trust yourself enough to leave what doesn’t fit on the rack.