Notes On… OCD

OCD is not quirkiness.
It’s not color-coded bookshelves.
Not alphabetized spices.
Not an extra fondness for hand sanitizer.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a disorder of doubt.
Of chronic, aching uncertainty.
Of the mind turning inward on itself, whispering, then screaming:
Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?

Clients tell me:
I know the stove is off, but what if it isn’t?
I know I didn’t hurt anyone, but what if I somehow did?
I know this doesn’t make sense, but it feels so real.

OCD runs on two engines:

Obsessions — intrusive, sticky thoughts or images that feel sharp and wrong.
Compulsions — actions or mental loops meant to undo them.

The tragedy is: they work. For a little while.
A breath of relief.
But it never lasts.
The fear comes back, stronger, sneakier.

And so the cycle spins.

OCD isn’t about logic.
It’s about urgency.
It’s not a failure of intellect.
It’s a nervous system convinced that danger is real, and personal, and your fault if it’s not prevented.

It doesn’t just touch fear.
It touches what you hold sacred.

Fear of germs.
Fear of knives.
Fear of God.
Fear of the self.
Fear of becoming the thing you most despise.

OCD doesn’t ask, “what if this happens?”
It asks, “what if this means something about you?”
And it doesn’t go after what you don’t care about.
It zeroes in on what matters most.

The therapy that works?
It’s not comfort. It’s not reassurance.
It’s exposure.
Sitting with the fear.
Not fixing it.
Not running from it.
Letting it burn without giving in.

It rewires the fear loop.
Teaches your body: “you can feel the panic… and not obey it.”
Teaches your mind: “you can let the thought be there, and still live.”
Teaches your spirit: “you are not your fear. You are not your urges. You are not your rituals.”

Healing from OCD isn’t about becoming fearless.
It’s about becoming free.